My friend Louis and I were studying St. Anselm for a Philosophy of Religion test tonight. It was a strange and uncomfortable experience. Louis is an art/religion double major and one of the students I respect most on campus for his opinions and insights into such things. He's often the guy who raises questions and ideas that a lot people can't even understand, let alone answer. So I felt strange tonight that he had to depend on me to explain a lot of concepts that I understood weeks ago. It's alien to me that someone be humble about their incomprehension. I'm more used to people not understanding and becoming quiet or changing the subject. "I don't know" is too rare a phrase on the lips of intellects.
I suppose it's not unusual that I understand philosophy or religion that others don't, but it wasn't comfortable to "show off." My response, which I don't like either, is that I made myself appear unsure about things I knew absolutely. I think I'd rather people think me too dumb than too smart. Why is that?
Other things on my menu tonight:
lima bean/corn soup
big cup of java
Vespers and Compline (these ones minus the blood transfusion, tonight)
study of the transgendered adam, if I have time