Sunday, July 13

Clownfish Deal Blow to Conservatives

Despite their cute and seemingly innocent exterior, clownfish are dealing a major blow as they reveal themselves as the most perverted of God's, now Satan's, creation. Transexuality, homosexuality, pedophilia - it's the norm in a clownfish household.

Defying both Natural Law and the Word of God, clownfish are seeking and completing sex changes at a staggering rate exceeding 50%. Clownfish, as God's punishment for their perversion, are exclusively born male. Not getting God's genocidal hint, individual males form "harems" of two reproductive and several pre-pubescent fish. The larger of the post-pubescent males changes sex into a female who commits an abomination with her his "partner." Quite a few abominations as "she" lays hundreds or thousands of eggs. If the sex obsessed transexual "female" dies, the father will continue her perverted legacy by having a sex change too. Then, proving that transexuals are pedophiles too, one of the young harem boys "coincidentally" happens to become old enough for sex at the same time the females dies. As these freaks raise their children, the circle of immorality continues.

This raises some questions about Pixar's corruption of America's youth in the blockbuster Finding Nemo.
  • Nemo's mother was a male to female transexual.
  • Since Marlin had sex with his "wife," he was gay because he was having sex with someone born male
  • Marlin is a chaser.
  • Presumably, Nemo won't become a transexual because his little fin will keep him from growing larger than their clownfish peers. But will likely have sex with one later in lfe.
  • Marlin is eligible to either find another transexual wife or change sex himself and marrying a husband.
Rumor is the Republican Party is drafting a Constitutional amendment as we speak that will remove the custody of clownchildren to foster homes where they can be adopted by cisgender fish as well as a gag order against worms, snails, and some species of frogs.

Wednesday, July 2

10 Ecelectic Facts in My Life

  • I'm officially glad summer's here this week but I was disappointed this evening to see the days are already noticeably shorter.

  • Changing bike tubes make me feel inadequate.

  • On a Mac you can make a PDF your wallpaper without any steps. It came in handy.

  • Gonzo is neither male nor female but a "whatever" (as shown in Gonzo's choice of bathrooms) now becoming my favorite muppet behind Statler and Waldorf.

  • I miss Erin Watson.

  • The advantage of bad memory is that when you experience old media again after some years, you get all the surprises and fascination you had experiencing it originally.

  • I now believe Mary is a perpetual virgin. My belief is entirely based on community, tradition, and myth and not at all on Scripture, Creation, or what I grew up and surprisingly little Reason. All of that is evolution.

  • Autistic people can be fascinating.

  • Echoing ancient sentiment of their ancestors, Columbia's court made a decision officially declaring that trans people "a source of invaluable social wealth" and "It is our duty, to listen to these people, to learn to live with them and to learn from them." I concur.

  • I love the old Batman cartoons. I'm looking forward to the new film, but the character of The Joker in the cartoons will be difficult to match.